yonmei

04:06 pm: How To Handle A Homophobe


Good advice for people whose friends are bigots, any flavour:

You know a few. Don't try to tell me you don't. And you even get along with some of them, because many homophobes have other fine qualities which make them hard workers, good friends, and charming dinner guests. So there may be a couple lurking around in your party. If they rear their ugly heads, it is your responsibility as the host to gently push their snouts back into the mud and filth from which they have truculently emerged.

The rebuff should match in tone, severity and intensity the nature of the offense. If your guest has committed an accidental heinosity out of thoughtlessness or ignorance--for instance, saying, "Oh, why didn't you bring your wife along?" to Alan after he mentions that he's married, simply pointing out the error politely is the most appropriate response. After that, the response elevates with the level of intentional offensiveness. A sample graduated scale is appended below:

"Y'know, I don't see why they think they should be able to get married just like normal people."
- "Well, Joe Bob, there are some folks who would say the same about rednecks like yourself."

"So these two lesbians walk into a bar..."
- "So these 50 bigots walk into the Republican convention..."

"Why should we fund AIDS research when it's clearly God's judgment on revolting perverts?"
- "I'm sorry, did you not see the NO ASSHOLES sign as you came in? I displayed it clearly above the door..."

"Sorry, I can't sit next to him, faggots make me sick."
- "Well, I'm afraid the only way I can accomodate your disability is by hog-tying you and tossing you out into the barn, where you will eventually be able to enjoy the dinner when it arrives in the form of pig slop."

Now, these responses may appear rude to you, but remember that your guest was rude first. Your job as host is to provide a pleasant and relaxing atmosphere for your guests, and if one of your guests is making it impossible for you to do that, well, it's polite to take him out behind the woodshed and give him a good hiding. Metaphorically speaking. Most 'phobes who trumpet this sort of swill do so because they assume no one will mind. If you make it clear that you do mind and you are offended, ten to one says your guest will back down and apologize. It's probably too much to hope for to think that this may also cause your 'phobe to reevaluate his opinion of gay people, but at least you can probably get him to shut up for the duration of the party. If not, it's hog-tyin' and eatin' slop in the barn for him. This is your party, and you'll tie if you want to. (From A Straight Person's Guide To Gay Etiquette, by the Plaid Adder)

Or, as another participant in the discussion said: "I think the big question of this particular imbroglio isn't "How do white folk write CoC well?" but 'HOLY SHIT did she really just SAY that?'"

Tags: howls of rage, imagine better, let's all be outcasts together, powerful speech vs. powerless silence

07:25 pm: The Sarah Palin Meme: Free People Read Freely
In the US, it's Banned Books Week. This is the ALA's list for top 100 Banned/Challenged Books in 2000-2007. "Out of 3,869 challenges reported to or recorded by the Office for Intellectual Freedom, as compiled by the Office for Intellectual Freedom, American Library Association. The ALA Office for Intellectual Freedom does not claim comprehensiveness in recording challenges. Research suggests that for each challenge reported there are as many as four or five which go unreported."

And, in the US, the Republican nominee for Vice President is someone who actively tried to have books banned from her local public library: "While Sarah was Mayor of Wasilla [1996–2002] she tried to fire our highly respected City Librarian because the Librarian refused to consider removing from the library some books that Sarah wanted removed. City residents rallied to the defense of the City Librarian and against Palin's attempt at out-and-out censorship, so Palin backed down and withdrew her termination letter. People who fought her attempt to oust the Librarian are on her enemies list to this day." - Letter About Palin

Usual rules:

If it's bold, I've read it.
If it's italicised, I've read part of it.
If it's underlined, I'd like to read it.
If it's strikethrough, I don't want to read it - but feel strongly that my dislike doesn't mean other people shouldn't be able to make that decision for themselves.

( The ALA's 100 Most-Banned Books List 2000-2007 )

Tags: angry queer, big read, books are what i read, evil american politics, evil awful mondays, harry potter, imagine better, let's all be outcasts together, lists, meme, outcasts should stick together, powerful speech vs. powerless silence

05:39 pm: Friday, er Thursday five: what's your culture?
afrai describes this as sort of like IBARW for the indolent. Cool.

( List 5 things which are basic common knowledge in your culture, which people outside are unfamiliar with. This is not about obscurity, but something everyday to you, that others go bzuh? at. )

( What was the last book you read that was written by a person who is a different race than you? Do you seek out books written by people of other races? Why? Why not? )

( What did you eat at dinner last night? Would you call it ethnic food? Why? )

( Has your gender presentation changed over the last 5 years? Has this change/lack of change been a deliberate choice on your part? )

( Do you discuss race and racism in your insanejournal/blog or in person? Why have you made that choice? )

( Bonus question. Were you aware of International Blog Against Racism Week? Did you choose to participate in it? Why or why not? )

Tags: edinburgh, friday five, let's all be outcasts together, meme, scottish politics

10:41 am: Snark is *not* a valid way to begin a discussion
(And I apologise to bethbethbeth and elke_tanzer for snarking on their journals, and hereby commit not to snark about OTW on any other OTWsquee posts on anyone else's journal...)

But nevertheless, I could wish that the reaction of OTWers to the point that if you are not on livejournal, you are excluded from OTW, was rather more constructive than blank denial.

If you do not have a livejournal, you cannot participate in the Organisation of Transformative Works. It's set up that way. While this makes me feel snarky whenever I see someone squeeing about OTW, for a number of reasons including the fact that just about the last thing fandom needs is yet another organisation exclusively for livejournal fans, what makes me really cranky is that OTW fans will not acknowledge that their organisation is exclusively for livejournal fans.

Signed,

Cranky Platypus.

Tags: ***** this fir a kerry oan, fannish snark, i write fanfic, let's all be outcasts together, venting

09:22 am: Seven Reasons Why Fanfic Is Like Gay Marriage
I like this:

1) A lot of people believe it is immoral and illegal--despite some forms of it being legal in some places, and having a history that goes back thousands of years.

2) A lot of the reactions are based not on rational or legal arguments, but personal squick--specifically, anti-sex squick, where the objector believes that any form of sexuality they don't like should be forbidden to everyone.

3) There's a long mainstream history of ignoring or denigrating both alternative-to-mainstream sexualities, and alternative-to-mainstream creativities: and strong connections between both.

4) Both inspire a common reaction of, "well, I suppose some people Do That Stuff, but do they need to be public about it? Why can't they just keep it to themselves and not inflict their weirdness/perversion on the rest of us?"

5) A serious, public interest in either can result in lost job opportunities and community ostracisation. It is common enough for people to argue in both instances "you're not actually being prosecuted - what more do you want?"

6) Some people reply to either with "well, you can want that, of course... but you should be able to control your impulse to act on those wants."

7) Most of the people getting outraged are not personally affected by either. In very basic terms, they are trying to control the behaviour of other people that has absolutely no effect on them. If you don't believe in gay marriage, don't marry someone of the same gender. And if you don't believe in fanfic, neither write it nor read it. A hefty helping of MYODB is now being served at the control-freak buffet. Please help yourself.

(Credit to elfwreck and aislingthebard, responding to a specific ranty-mcranty-pants post about the ingratitude of fanfic writers that they are not constantly being sued.)

Tags: i love fanfic, i write fanfic, join us on the outside, let's all be outcasts together, outcasts should stick together, write write write